Divorced Dad Help – Kitchen help.

I once met a woman who said, “If a man can cook well in the kitchen, then he can cook well in the bedroom”.  All this time, I thought, “You can cook?” actually meant that.  Turns out it meant, “You’re good in bed?”  I had no idea.  Here are some ideas for helping you get started on your new single dad life in relation to the kitchen.

Cookbooks: everyone should have at least one.  I found an excellent selection at my local thrift store at excellent prices.  You can also of course, go to a bookstore.  After you do a few recipes, you will begin to learn many unwritten valuable lessons.  You will instinctively begin to know good substitutions, etc…

Spices: I thought I needed to fill my cupboards with many, many spices for all occasions.  Big mistake.  Not only did I waste a lot of money, but also I have yet to use some of the things I purchased. 

Here are the staples:

Salt

Sugar

Garlic Powder

Bullion

Olive Oil

Vinegar (white vinegar for the coffee pot if you have one)

Bread Crumbs

Pepper

Oregano

Shortening

Vanilla

Pots and Pans: I have seen that pots and pans can cost HUNDREDS of dollars.  I found many great pots and pans at my local thrift store at excellent prices.  The way I look at is that I can burn anything the same way in an expensive pan as well as a cheaper pan.  Be Sure to get multiple sizes of saucepans with lids, I recommend 1,2,and 4-quart sizes.  Frying pans with lids.  A 9x12-baking pan is always useful as well.  For utensils, I found a great large pack of utensils, with about 30 common pieces in one pack, at my local Walstore.

Appliances: Microwave, toaster, coffee pot, crock-pot, gas grill (we are men, seriously though, they cook everything well, and are easy to clean), waffle maker (I have made many waffles for breakfast – couldn’t live without it), and anything else that can save you time.

Some other things to not forget: a set of glasses, they are very inexpensive.  At least 2 wine glasses, you never know.  A complete place setting for 4-8 people, they are not too expensive.  Plenty of silverware, with steak knives.  Don’t forget the salt and peppershakers.

Don’t expect to get all of this done at one time, it will cost a bit.  I was able to save a lot of money at Craiglslist and my local thrift store.  Got a toaster that looked like new at the thrift store for $5, and my microwave was $15 on Clist.  Amazing deals.  Good luck!  The first year is the hardest, it will get better.

We are dedicated to helping you through the tough times associated with Divorce and separation. If you are looking to keep that already good relationship fresh, we also have many great FREE BestRomantic Ideas, and even advice on spicing up the bedroom! So, for more help with Howto get your ex back, check us out. Thank you!

Divorced dad help, set a good example.

Being a great father does not mean just showing up. Raising great children requires more effort. In addition to the fun times, time spent with the children should be used productively, teaching them right from wrong, self-respect, pride, and showing them that you get what you give. In turn, as the dad, and as the kids, your rewards will be endless. Here are some thoughts on things to do to be a good dad.

Read to them.
Don't make promises you can't keep.
Go for a walk.
Let them help around the house.
If you give an allowance, make sure they earn it by doing something.
Talk about your childhood.
Take small trips - you don't need to spend a lot - go to the beach for example.
Use good manners.
Lead by example.
No swearing.
Be patient when working on homework.
Always be affectionate - tell them you love them often.
Be clear with limits and expectations.
Know your kids' friends and parents.
Go to church.
Be able to admit when you are wrong.
Make something together.

Traditionally, the father was always the one to fix the house or car, do the checkbook, etc. Now, we need to actually nurture the children too! There is little that a mother can do that a father can't. Take a step back, and regroup. You need to overcome any tough issues at hand, and start to live life to the fullest! As each day passes, it gets easier to accomplish this goal. Try to experience the end of your relationship as a new beginning. This is the first step to begin enjoying your new life with your children.

Start by cutting the strings attached to the ex, and realize that the relationship is over. For many, this is very difficult. Some men hold on too long and make mistakes. Try to make a breakup as easy as possible by remembering these points:

Don't act like a baby, at least where she can see it.
Stay away from her, wash your hands of the whole situation.
Accept that there will be someone else, eventually, it is inevitable.
Remember some of the less desirable times with her.
No stalking, hitting, or anything like that.
MYOB.
Break nothing!
It is not her new boyfriend's fault. If anything, he has a crazy ex too.

Our articles are created with the hope of assisting fathers, children, and families through these trying, extremely difficult times of separation and divorce. Through the Internet we hope to share our knowledge and empower fathers at the times when they feel the most lost and hopeless. I wish my fellow single fathers the best of luck and hope we can all survive the bitterness and pain of divorce, and keep our children happy and safe.

Paul Hudson is dedicated to helping you through the tough times associated with Divorce and separation. For some great FREE Divorced Dad Help, check us out. Thank you!

Romantic Date Ideas

Win your love back (if you want to)....

How to Win Love Back - if you want to...

What can you do to win love back?  Getting your ex to fall in love with you all over again can be a challenge.  The truth is that there are reasons that he or she called it off.  If you can figure out what the reasons are, you have a good chance to win love back.

If you need to win love back because the other person couldn’t trust you anymore, you will have to proceed slowly.  If you messed up and fooled around with someone else, you have to prove that you can be loyal again. 

First, you must be certain that you want your ex back.  What is going to keep you from straying again?  Could it be that the reason you fooled around is because you weren’t 100 percent sure you wanted your ex?  If this is the case, are you now sure that you want the relationship to go forward? 

If you are sure, then you need to apologize.  Don’t think that this will get you very far when it comes to win love back, but it is a necessary first step.

Then, you must give your ex time to heal.  Don’t push him or her to resolve the situation.  During this time, you don’t want to play any head games that might give your ex the feeling that you can’t be trusted.  You probably shouldn’t date other people during this time.  You should be humble.

Be a great friend to her.  Do the things that made her fall in love with you in the first place.  If she still has feelings for you, being a good friend can help her pave over the infidelity.

But there are reasons besides cheating that a person dumps their lover.  For instance, they may be bored with the relationship.  In this case, if you want to win love back, you have to spice things up.

When your ex was first attracted to you, you were probably not complacent in the dating game.  You planned each date carefully, dressed up for the events, and brought little gifts to him or her from time to time.  As the relationship developed, you may have gotten sloppy about it. 

If you think the reason you are now in the position where you need to win love back is that you let the relationship get boring, try spicing things up.   If you meet up again “just as friends” do something different and exciting.  Meet at a wine bar instead of a pool hall.  Go out for fondue or other “interesting” food.  Go to a concert with music that she likes.  Don’t just sit around the house watching football or American Idol all of the time.

If your ex is bored with you, win love back by becoming more interesting in your personal life as well.  Take a course or join up with an interesting group.  Start skydiving.  Show your ex that you can be a lot of fun.
The final reason that I’m going to discuss here about why a break up happens is that you were just “too into” your ex.  He or she didn’t have any room to breathe.  They may still like you.  Heck, they may still love you, but they didn’t find any room for themselves in the relationship.

If this is the case, you have to give your ex some space.  The worst thing you can do is send them 100 text messages a day or call crying at 3:00 a.m. asking why the break up happened.  You win love back by backing off.  When you see your ex, be casual.  Don’t be needy.

There are, of course, many other reasons why your ex could have broken up with you.  When you analyze why the break up happened, you can use the space thereafter to win love back by making the necessary changes.

You won’t win love back by continuing in your old habits.  But you should know that getting back together is possible.  You can win love back.

More good love, romance, sex tips, etc, here: Ebook for sex

Also...an INCREDIBLE Cell Phone Spy Software site...wow...

Divorced Dad Help - How a Father Can Help His Children Cope

Living somewhere new is difficult enough for us as adults, but it can be especially hard on the children. So, before we worry about all the problems we will face as newly single fathers, let's consider the children. Ultimately, they are our first priority. While we are dealing with all sorts of issues in our heads about our lost love, we still need to remember that. This change may be much harder on them. Here are some warning signs that the kids may be affected:

• Inability to relax
• Anxious
• Frequently sick
• Denial of obvious things, like mom's absence
• Uncontrollable rage or temper tantrums
• Lethargic
• Always wanting to be secluded
• Blaming themselves
• Loss of interest in activities
• Changes in eating habits
• Depression
• Talk of suicide

Common reactions by age: 

Infant to Two:
Minimal reaction, as long as the nurturing continues as it was before. 

Two to Four years old:
Children may regress a little bit in development. Some examples would be wetting when was not present before, returning to diapers, thumb sucking, loss of appetite.

Three to Six:
This age group may exhibit some helplessness or fear. There may be some sleep issues or changing eating habits. These kids are more accustomed to two parent homes, and may have a harder time accepting and understanding why "mommy is gone". 

Six to Eight:
At these ages, children may have some feelings that dad will also leave. There may be issues with eating and sleeping, and some children may hang on to an unrealistic hope that there may be reconciliation. Some of these kids may also decide to side with one parent over another, especially in the presence of outside influences. 

Eight to Twelve:
Anger may come into play a little more here at these ages. It may be directed at one or both parents, especially if the kids blame themselves for the divorce. There may be also some feeling of helplessness. These emotions can also create eating and sleeping problems. 

Twelve to Eighteen:
Some of these kids are almost unaffected and some will exhibit rebellious behaviors. Some may also generate negative attitudes regarding their own relationships with the opposite sex. 

All of these adjustment periods will vary. The first year will most likely be the hardest. If you notice any of these issues, seek help as soon as possible. As a father, you can help the children adjust by always keeping the lines of communication open. Try to encourage the children to share their feelings, offer sympathy, and always focus on the positive. Always tell them you love them and will be there for them. Assure them that their mother loves them and will always be there for them as well. Never badmouth their mother in front of them. 

Our articles are created with the hope of assisting fathers, children, and families through these trying, extremely difficult times of separation and divorce. Through the Internet we hope to share our knowledge and empower fathers at the times when they feel the most lost and hopeless. I wish my fellow single fathers the best of luck and hope we can all survive the bitterness and pain of divorce, and keep our children happy and safe.

We are dedicated to helping you through the tough times associated with Divorce and separation. If you are looking to keep that already good relationship fresh, we also have many great FREE Best Romantic Ideas, and even advice on spicing up the bedroom! So, for more help with Divorced Dad Help, check us out. Thank you!

How to get over it.

How To Get Over Someone You Love

If you want to know how to get over someone you love, you must realize that none of the answers are easy ones. No matter how ready you might think you are to move on and get over that person, that you have to ask how to do it at all shows that it’s going to be a painful process.  Sometimes it’s a slow process, too.  You might think you’re over someone and a year or two later be reminded of that person and feel all the pain and sadness again.  That doesn’t mean you’re not over the person, though.

If you’ve had a lot emotionally invested into a relationship and it ends, it’s something that can potentially make you feel sad for years.  Maybe even for the rest of your life.  But that doesn’t mean the sadness has to be paralyzing or has to throw you into a depression. By getting over the person, you can realize that losing them made you sad, and look back on it as you would any sad loss.  It’s the period of time soon after the loss that should be the hardest, that makes you ask how to get over someone you love.

If the break-up is new, often the only way to deal with it is just to face the pain and ride it out.  It’s going to hurt, no matter what you do.  But there are some things you can do to lessen the pain.  You can remove obvious visual reminders of the person, if possible.  Photographs of them can be put away for a while.  Gifts they gave you can be stored instead of displayed.  You can even avoid the places you used to go together for a while.  This tip can be found in pretty much every list that explains how to get over someone you love, so it’s at least a popular idea that’s worth a try.

If you’re really having trouble living your life after the break-up, it might be necessary to seek counseling.  Simply explain that you’ve just been through a painful break-up and ask the counselor how to get over someone you love.  They can offer helpful advice, and can be more specific that generic lists about how to get over someone you love.  A counselor can also probably offer better advice than friends or family.

Your friends and family might feel they know your situation too well.  Some may have motives for help you get over the person.  They might not have liked that you were in the relationship to begin with, so they might want you to get over things or move on to another person too quickly.  With a counselor, though, you can safely tell them things about the relationship you probably don’t want friends or family to even know.

Feel free to go to counseling for as long as you need to.  If the counselor feels you’re spending too much time dwelling on how to get over someone you love, they’ll tell you.

More articles and information about Howto get your ex back - if you want to, or if you want some Romantic Date Ideas - for your new partner...check us out!  Thank you!

Divorced Dad Help - Things to do first.

Divorced Dad Help!  Things to do first.

Divorce will affect more than 50% of married couples some time or another.  Here are some of the first steps you will need to take to protect yourself.

Documents.

Make sure to get all things personal and financial.  Include the following: birth certificate, retirement documentation, and anything else personal.  Take all of these to somewhere that your partner can't access them.  Any paperwork that is related to joint assets, make a copy for you to keep.  Also, it is very likely that your partner will go through your personal items, cell phone, bills, and computer, looking for anything she can use against you.  So prepare for that now.

Bank Accounts.

Go to the bank and take 1/2 of the money from the account, then open a new account in your own name.  Open an account at a new bank even. It is very tempting to leave your children and their mother with no money.  Don't do that, it will only get you in trouble with the judge who will make you pay anyway, and most likely it will be retro-active.  Make arrangements with your partner so that bills will be covered.  Communicate all of this with your partner in writing, but not before you have done it.  You do not want her to clean out your accounts first.

Valuables.

Remove any valuables, like collections, jewelry, artwork, firearms, cash, and heirlooms out of the house to a safe place.  Anything with significant or sentimental value.  You are not trying to hide things, but you do not want any surprises, like an empty house.  If things disappear, it will be next to impossible to prove the items were yours, or even what they were.  If you need to leave anything temporarily, take pictures or video for your records.

Credit Cards.

You do not want to wake up one day and discover that your partner has charged $2,000 on your joint credit card.  You may be responsible for paying part or all of that $2,000.  If she did go out shopping, report the cards as stolen immediately, hopefully you will not be held responsible for the entire amount.  Again, communicate what you have done with the cards, you don't want her to try grocery shopping, and have the card denied.

Insurances.

Don't change any insurance coverage’s (life or health), at least until the divorce is final.  You are probably responsible for at least half of their medical bills until then anyway.

Household Type Expenses.

It is just unwise to think that two households can live as cheaply as one. It is time to cut every cost you can think of.  Cut back on unnecessary utilities (cable, extra cell phone, etc.).  Sell anything that you do not need as soon as possible.  You will need the money.  Each spouse will need more money than you would think.  After you are legally separated, the red tape could even keep you from selling things that are actually yours to begin with.

Retirement Money.

Stop paying into your 401k.  Retirement funds will be split as part of the divorce, so you don't want the value of that account increasing during the months or years this drags on, only to have to give half of it away later.  That will also increase your paycheck from week to week, and you will need the extra money.

Get a Lawyer.

Don’t just look at page 149 of the Yellow Pages for your attorney. Try to use personal referrals from friends, coworkers, other attorneys, or the father’s groups. Check at the court hearing your case and ask the Court Clerk for 3 references for a good, affordable attorney that has rapport with the judge.  Meet with multiple attorneys (these consultations should free or at low cost to you) and decide on that face-to-face chemistry. Don’t forget to take notes so you remember necessary information. Don’t hesitate to fire your attorney if they fail to follow your directions, or do not live up to your expectations.

Finally - GOOD LUCK!

PLEASE, try to remain amicable.  It is really in everyone's best interests.  The lawyers get all the money when people play games.  Good luck.

More info on Divorced Dad Help, and Romantic tips and ideas, please visit us!

Divorced Dad Help - Father's Rights

Divorced Dad’s Help – Dads have rights too.

My friend Tom is a single father with 2 girls, has the following war story.  “When my divorce was over, I thought, I am finally done with her!  Little did I know that the next 13 years would be a roller coaster ride through the legal system.  My ex is so possessed with making my life miserable, she takes me back to court every other year just to raise my child support.”  This story is a common one.  Some pre-divorce advice seems to be appropriate here.  Please consider doing the following as soon as you can.

Join a Father’s Rights Group.
With the assistance of a Father’s Rights Group, a father can save thousands of dollars in legal fees and hopefully avoid attaining a poor lawyer.  Most of these groups are non profit, and offer great information in attorney referrals, parenting classes, law, private investigators, mediation, mental health providers, and support.  Don’t forget also, that many employers will help with the expenses for some of these services.  For example, the mental health visits would likely be covered under health insurance.  Some costs for the lawyer or parenting classes may be covered under your employer’s EAP (Emergency Assistance Program) if available.

Also, the NFRC provides extensive information about single parenting and resource links to other father's rights organizations.  Check their website out to find assistance nearest you.  http://www.fathers4kids.com/.

Learn Your Rights.
Don’t think your friend Sam is an expert in divorce because he went through one 4 years ago.  A father in a divorce or custody battle MUST know his rights or he will be unable to know if his lawyer is properly representing him.  Again, joining the father’s rights group is one way to stay informed.  Of course, there are also countless books available on the topic (remember the library?).  These books will cover you all the way from the courts to the therapist’s couch.

Find a Good Attorney.
Don’t just look at page 149 of the Yellow Pages for your attorney.  Try to use personal referrals from friends, coworkers, other attorneys, or the father’s groups.  Check at the court hearing your case and ask the Court Clerk for 3 references for a good, affordable attorney that has rapport with the judge.  Meet with multiple attorneys (these consultations should free or at low cost to you) and decide on that face-to-face chemistry.  Don’t forget to take notes so you remember necessary information.  Don’t hesitate to fire your attorney if they fail to follow your directions, or do not live up to your expectations.

Our articles are created with the hope of assisting fathers, children, and families through these trying, extremely difficult times of separation and divorce.  Through the Internet we hope to share our knowledge and empower fathers at the times when they feel the most lost and hopeless.  I wish my fellow single fathers the best of luck and hope we can all survive the bitterness and pain of divorce, and keep our children happy and safe.

Check out our site Divorced Dad Help